How Couples Therapy Can Help You to Argue More Effectively

How Couples Therapy Can Help You to Argue More Effectively

When you think about an argument with your partner, what comes to mind? Do you both raise your voice? Do you name-call? Bring up things from the past, or things irrelevant to the current argument?

Most couples don’t view fighting as something productive or something that is good for their relationship, but arguments happen. They happen to the happiest, most secure couples.

It’s how you work through them that makes a difference.

Yes, arguments in a relationship can be effective. If you argue the right way, your relationship can even end up stronger than before. If you’re not sure how to make that happen, a counselor for marriage problems can help. Consider marriage therapy to help you make the most of your disagreements.

What Does an Unhealthy Argument Look Like?

Many couples argue the “wrong” way, and then wonder why their fights always seem to get worse. There are things you can do during an argument to calm things down and make them more productive. After all, the goal of an argument is to come to some kind of resolution, not to stay angry with your partner.

When you’re getting marriage counseling, you can learn more about unhealthy arguing. The more you know about what not to do, the easier it will be to put healthy habits in place.

So, what are some of the “bad habits” that might try to sneak their way into your arguments? A few of the common problems include:

  • Using “always” and “never” statements
  • Not taking a break
  • Not looking directly at your partner
  • Focusing on “winning” the fight
  • Going off-topic
  • Believing your partner is the enemy

With so many potential unhealthy factors in arguments, is it even possible to have a healthy fight? Thankfully, the answer is yes.

Healthy Arguing Techniques

sad couple ignoring each other standing back to back

Marriage and relationship counseling can help to teach you the techniques you need to argue the right way. You’ll focus on letting go of some of those negative factors and turning them into positive, productive things that can make your arguments worthwhile.

When you choose to have a healthy argument, you’re also choosing to listen. You don’t name-call or belittle your partner, you stick to the subject at hand, and you take a break if things start to get too heated for both of you.

The most important thing to keep in mind when you’re arguing, though, is that your partner isn’t the enemy. Marriage counseling can help you to realize that you and your partner are on the same team and, ultimately, want the same things. How you reach your end goals together might look different for each of you, but that’s not a reason to consistently stir up unhealthy arguments.

If you’re struggling in your relationship and feel as though your fights are causing damage to your connection, feel free to contact me for marriage therapy in San Diego. Arguing doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. It means you need to find more effective ways to disagree. Marriage therapy can make that happen.