Marriage Counseling in San Diego
Marital Satisfaction and Intimacy Therapy Programs
There are many reasons couples reach out to us for therapy. A lack of communication, dissatisfaction with intimacy and sex, and a failure to find common ground with a spouse can become problematic. Couples therapy can provide help by offering various solutions. From help and guidance to conflict resolution, our therapists can work through different struggles to achieve the level of satisfaction in your marriage there once was.
At Matthew Bruhin & Associates, our marriage and family therapy programs can help find resolutions and teach various tools to repair the bond between couples and close family members. Many issues can impact a marriage. If they’ve got in the way, we can help revive the bond that led you to your vows.
Evaluating the State of Your Marriage
We can look at many components of marital dissatisfaction. Using John Gottman’s method of addressing these, we can apply useful models during intimacy workshops and when addressing specific problems. For example, if one partner is too critical of another, often attacking their character or personality, we can look into underlying reasons why. Often the intent of making the other person right or wrong is counterproductive in the relationship.
Statements such as “you always …” or “you never …” generalize a partner’s actions to the point it harms the relationship, but this is just one source of marital dissatisfaction. Frequent insults, sarcasm, name-calling, and mockery can be just as demeaning or more so, as can one’s vocal tone and body language such as sneering, curling the upper lip, or rolling the eyes. Other components of marital trouble include defensiveness (acting as if oneself is the victim), excuses, and cross complaining, or responding to your partner’s complaint with one of your own, completely ignoring their remarks.
Some partners disagree and then cross-complain, essentially blaming the other for the problem or stating their actions were due to what the other person said or did. An agreement-disagreement or “yes-but” statement can generate friction, as can repeating oneself without paying attention to what the other person said.
Nobody appreciates “It’s not fair” whining, nor does anyone benefit from withdrawing to avoid conflict. Stonewalling is a form of withdrawal in which partners attempt to be neutral. However, silence, changing the subject, leaving the room, or muttering in monosyllabic tones creates distance, disconnection, and disapproval. The silent treatment is never helpful in a marriage.
How We Can Help
Our marriage therapist in San Diego understands the dynamics of all these issues. By focusing on healing and encouraging positive, depth-oriented interactions, we can help you work toward common goals. Emotionally Focused Therapy, pioneered by Sue Johnson, is one method that can lead to increased marital satisfaction. It concentrates on vulnerability and openness to help you and your spouse grow.
There are numerous components to a healthy marriage. At Matthew Bruhin & Associates, we have a keen understanding of how to create, learn, and uncover them to reinforce a loving partnership. We’ve worked with couples of all ages, cultural backgrounds, and sexual orientations dealing with a wide range of issues. For more information on our couples therapy and marriage family counseling in San Diego, or to schedule a consultation, contact Matthew Bruhin & Associates today at 619-683-3774.